How often do I see it? A young woman announces on Facebook that she is pregnant. Immediately, there is a chorus of "Congrats!" from her friends. How exciting! You're going to have a baby!
For the families, however, this news may come as a bit of a surprise. The young woman is an unmarried teen; hasn't finished high school; has no income; has no plans for the future. Of course, in this world, we may be told that all of this is none of our business. Who are we, after all, to interfere with young love?
Just the one's who get to pick up the pieces. Particularly if the young couple's favorite recreation is drug use.
Grandson is a recreational marijuana user. No one paid much attention. It's what young people do. His girl friend uses crystal meth. Last year, they had a baby.
Fortunately, the baby's paternal grandparents were in the picture. In January, they took the baby for two weeks, while the parents were tested for drugs. When the results came back "negative", the baby was returned to them. (So much for drug tests.)
In April, the mother totaled the car in a four-car pileup.
In July, the grandparents took the baby back again after continued drug use by the mother. Ministry of Children and Family Development has currently given custody to the grandparents, with the parents having visitation three times a week at the Ministry office.
Of course, all of this (which I've only highlighted), has caused considerable stress to everyone in the family. But, hey, it's a free society. Who needs marriage to have children? Or an education? Or restrictions on our fun? Sadly, we eventually find out.
Sometimes having a kid changes things a lot. Shufang (my wife) and I changed, no question about it; we changed a lot. First of all, our relationship developed in a new way. Since having Ahleena, we have stopped squabbling with each other. We're both fairly warm blooded, so we'd get into it from time to time. After Ahleena was born, however, we have had just one fight. When things came to a head, Ahleena came out of her/our bedroom, and started laughing strangely, like we were playing a game. This was pretty late too. That affected us deeply. Having a child has really brought us together, and I believe we have a nicer family and stronger relationship for it. Hopefully who you're talking about will have a similar metamorphosis.
ReplyDeleteThere is a practical side though. Shufang and I both have university BAs and MAs. We can take care of things financially. Plus we're much older, which might mean something when you're rearing a child.
At the end of the day, I'm afraid you have presented sad scenario. I hope someone love and cares for that baby.
presented sad scenario = presented a sad scenario
ReplyDeleteParents have a lot of responsibilities to their children: (1) teach them social responsibility;
ReplyDelete(2) encourage them to stay in school; (3)discourage drug use; (4) educate them about sexual choices and their consequences; (5)provide background for mature problem-solving and conflict resolution. Unfortunately, many parents have weak social skills themselves, lack education, use drugs, and are single. The kids grow up confused.
Yes, and providing a lot of love ranks high too. I think I'd slot it in before your number one, social responsibility. Teach them it, and many of these categories will be resolved before the get-go.
ReplyDeleteJust to play the devil's advocate, how many professionals in Canada actually partake in drug use? I think you'd be surprised; I imagine the polls would be quite high. I'll finish off by saying I do not do drugs of any sort. In fact, I've never cared for them. Perspective and self control - that's what I say. They should not be underrated.